mylifebyandrearaven

My shopping outfit  I suspect many that read this blog do not live full time and many do not go out on a regular basis. This was the case for me for a long time, then several years ago I started to venture out and that turned into a regular monthly outing. Then the pandemic hit and everything came to a halt.   Since then I have been going out but not on such a regular basis. I have written about a few days I had earlier this year and recently I was lucky enough to meet up with a lovely friend and spend a few says just being me.  As much as I would like to get out more often at the present time that is just not possible, that being the case I feel it is important to concentrate on the quality of time I have not the quantity. When I go away for my few days 'Andrea time' myself and my friend spend a lot of time planning what we are going to do so that we get the best possible out of our relatively short time. That planning not only covers what I am going to do but what ...

I recently took part in a research project undertaken by a student of the City University of London, this came about because my friend Stephanie had also taken part and I offered to assist as well. The project entitled " How do trans people arrive at the decision not to see medically assisted gender affirming care " is a bit of a mouth full, but basically asking why trans people like me choose not to go down the medical route.  My part in this study was to take part in a 90 minute interview via Teems, prior to this, a screening phone call of about 15 minutes had taken place. The purpose of the screening was to ensure I was suitable for the study but also to check on my mental wellbeing as some of the questions could be distressing to some people. The phone call proved successful and a date and time was set for the video interview.  As it was on video, I wanted to present the best image of myself that I could, although the video will not be made public I do believe we should t...

  The simple answer to the question I posed above is Yes you most certainly can! Obviously it does depend on your definition of 'classy' but with a bit of thought and searching in the right place it can be done. I think the place to start is to decide on you version of 'classy' and the sort of clothes that look good on you. There is no point trying to be elegant if the clothes just do not suit your build and physique.  Once you have discovered your style you can begin your search, there are two main sources of reasonably priced clothes, on line auction sites and, in the UK at least, supermarkets. Starting with the auction sites look for charities, on eBay you will find The British Heart Foundation that has hundreds of items, it is a bit of a trawl but you will be surprised at the items people dispose of, another is Loved by Cynthia prices are very reasonable, and you will be helping a charity as well. You can also go to your local charity shop as well to see what they h...

Photo courtesy Emma at Nylon Nostalgia This time we are going to hear from Stephanie about her bra fitting at Marks & Spencer's here in the UK I will let Stephanie take the story from here:  I have just returned home from my bra fitting at M&S and I have to say the whole experience was just lovely and definitely ranks (if I was scoring) as one of the most positive experiences I’ve had as a crossdresser, even though I attended in male mode! My appointment was at 9:30am and I arrived at the store at 9:25 and after wandering through menswear (which now feels so alien even when I’m in drab!) I headed for the lingerie department and the fitting rooms. When I arrived there wasn’t anyone around at first though I could hear voices in the background then after a very short wait a member of staff appeared, saw me waiting and came over, and asked if she could help me?  I had told myself before I arrived to relax and try to be as “normal” as possible, so I came straight out and sa...

Before we begin as you have probably guessed from the attached photo this post has nothing to do with farming!    Many years ago an elderly Fenland gentleman put his arm around my shoulder and said "one piece of advice my boy (he had no idea of my gender issues), in this life you have to plough your own furrow....." That is a piece of advice that has stayed with me for a very long time and is just as valid today as it was back then. Basically what it means is follow your own course, however from my own experience that is not as simple as it might seem. Growing up was not easy, but when you are living through it, thats just how life is, when you look back from a more advantaged viewpoint you realise just how tough life for a young lad that didn't fit in and had to battle dyslexia on his own really was. But I fought my way through it and went on to have a great life, but there was always something missing, there were always times when I felt I didn't fit in. Fortunately...

 I was chatting to a female friend of mine recently and the subject of slips came up. She had seen me in one of mine and remarked how good it looked, she then revealed she had never worn a full slip, but had worn a half slip at school. The lady is in her late forties, so missed out on wearing slips when she was young and has never thought to try one since.  So what is so special about a slip? well firstly you need to understand the real purpose of a slip, although they look fabulous and many would say sexy, the point of a slip is to provide an independent layer between the lingerie, or foundation garments and the outer layer, the dress. Being independent, by that I mean not attached to the dress, it allows the dress to move freely from the lingerie, almost like a lubricating layer. As a result the dress flows more freely, hangs better and is often more comfortable to wear.  For dresses that are sheer or very thin fabric a slip can provide a layer to avoid the infamous La...

 An incident occurred a little while ago that caused me to cry. I will not go into the intimate details, but suffice it to say that the release of emotion caused me to cry in a way I have not done since way back in my pre-teen years..... Which is a very long time ago.  The crying was the result of a massive release of emotion caused by seeming unconnected events that caused me to fear for the health of two very special people. I cry more now than I have done for years, I do get much more emotional since I have allowed my feminine side blossom. However it has never been like this. It hasn't always been this way, before accepting myself, I would very rarely cry, and then only because it was a tragic loss, and only in private. What was that? Well research has shown that men cry 60% less than women, crying is often seen as a weakness or embarrassing, especially for the male. We cry three types of tears: Firstly 'Basal' which are the tears that coat your eyes all day and help pr...

 A couple of weeks ago I had a day out with a very close female friend. I had known my lady friend Jen for a couple of years, it is a complicated story about how we met which I will not go into here, but we always intended to have a girly day out, but it was difficult for us to find a time that suited both of us. However we finally managed to get a date organised and we met up at my hotel. Jen had always complimented me on my makeup and when we arranged the date she had said she would like me to perform my magic on her. Make no mistake I am not an expert in the application of makeup, but I agreed to do it with the caveat that if she didn't like it I would remove it and she would do her usual day makeup.   This was quite a big thing for me, I've never been a with a woman that a wants me to do her makeup so it was quite a challenge. As we were doing day makeup it was actually quite minimal and not too difficult to apply, although it is obviously very different whe...

 You would think this is something very simple and something everyone has....... But during my  life, having respect for my true self has been difficult if not impossible. I have spent most of my life trying to be something I wasn't instead of doing my best to be something I really am. Anyone, like me who was born to this crossdressing life will have had a very difficult time growing up. These days it is easier as the society of today is much more forgiving than the one I grew up in despite some of the current moves to restrict trans people. My life has constantly evolved during the time I have been on earth, it still is, but for many years it evolved in the wrong direction as I tried, and failed miserably, to be the person society deemed I should be. There was no hand book, no instruction manual, no support and no help, there was just negativity. What ever I did, seemed to be wrong, I was constantly being told how to live my life, how to conform. I was seen by some to be...

   The best photographs tell a story, unless you are extremely lucky you will have to invest time and effort to create the perfect picture. Firstly you have to decide what story you want to tell, if it is a bride on her wedding day it is fairly easy to photograph her outside the church or signing the register, however if you are using a photo to illustrate a story, obviously the photo has to have a direct connection with the narrative. To do that the connection with the story has to be obvious, but you also have to get it in context, for example the first photo below it not only had to have the connection with the story but also fit into the time frame. A modern electric sewing machine would have been out of place so everything needed to be in period.  When you are trying to create a 'period' photograph you firstly have to do your research, the items in the image have to be correct, if you go for a period 'look' then you can be a little more relaxed but overall the phot...