Plough your own furrow

Before we begin as you have probably guessed from the attached photo this post has nothing to do with farming! 

 Many years ago an elderly Fenland gentleman put his arm around my shoulder and said "one piece of advice my boy (he had no idea of my gender issues), in this life you have to plough your own furrow....." That is a piece of advice that has stayed with me for a very long time and is just as valid today as it was back then. Basically what it means is follow your own course, however from my own experience that is not as simple as it might seem.

Growing up was not easy, but when you are living through it, thats just how life is, when you look back from a more advantaged viewpoint you realise just how tough life for a young lad that didn't fit in and had to battle dyslexia on his own really was. But I fought my way through it and went on to have a great life, but there was always something missing, there were always times when I felt I didn't fit in. Fortunately today youngsters get lots of support had helpful advice with both dyslexia and gender issues, so although it is not easy, it is certainly easier than my youth when there was no support whatsoever. 

The advice about ploughing your own furrow is all well and good, provided you know which furrow to plough. What you have to recognise is that most people give advice based on their life and experiences. That is all well and good, if you are following a similar lifestyle. But if your path deviates then that advice is often not helpful. The trick is to recognise what is helpful and will enhance you future life, and which advice is of no use. The trouble here is you often have to go against the grain and ignore what to many would be good advice. One thing I would say is always accept advice gracefully and respect that others are entitled to their opinion, you don't have to act on the said advice, but you should act respectfully. It is helpful to understand why some people adopt certain opinions which seem contrary to what you yourself believe. 

I have a very special female friend, who on a number of occasions has suggested that in order to get the full feminine experience I need to be with a man. Now over the years I have questioned this myself, and as a result of certain experiences have concluded this is not the path for me. However she still can't quite get her head around it, this is not her fault of course, she was brought up, in her words "in the right body" as a woman and as such sees things very much from a female perspective. Although I am very feminine I was obviously brought up as a male, so I see things in a different way. That is not to say I see things from a male point of view, I certainly do not, but I do see things from both sides, or more accurately differently. I have a close relationship with another female, our friendship is not based on gender stereotypes in fact it is not based on gender at all, it is purely based on the connection we have between the two inner persons, the connection is not based on how I present or what I look like it is entirely based on who I am. So although the advice was gratefully received and I know it it was said with best of intentions as she only wants the best for me, it is not the advice for me at the present time.

Finding your own way is not easy, and you will go down many dead ends on that journey and sometimes you have to experience things so that you learn what you don't like, as much as what you do like. But with luck you will be able to plough your own furrow and enjoy a fulfilling and loving life..........