Emotion - Why can't men cry?
An incident occurred a little while ago that caused me to cry. I will not go into the intimate details, but suffice it to say that the release of emotion caused me to cry in a way I have not done since way back in my pre-teen years..... Which is a very long time ago.
The crying was the result of a massive release of emotion caused by seeming unconnected events that caused me to fear for the health of two very special people. I cry more now than I have done for years, I do get much more emotional since I have allowed my feminine side blossom. However it has never been like this. It hasn't always been this way, before accepting myself, I would very rarely cry, and then only because it was a tragic loss, and only in private. What was that? Well research has shown that men cry 60% less than women, crying is often seen as a weakness or embarrassing, especially for the male.
We cry three types of tears: Firstly 'Basal' which are the tears that coat your eyes all day and help protect them, secondly Reflex, are tears caused by irritation, pollution dust etc and thirdly there are emotional tears. These tears are different because they contain more stress hormones and natural painkillers, the production of tears as a result of emotion can trigger a supportive response in onlookers. It is believed that the production of emotional tears helps to reduce stress and help the healing process.
I can certainly say that in my case, once the emotion and stress had subsided, the feeling of happiness and contentment were very strong. So that being the case, why don't men cry more often? Well the answer, at least in western cultures, 'society' has programmed many men to be 'manly' and 'macho' and as such to be seen crying is not the done thing. Comments such as 'you're soft', 'pull yourself together' and even 'grow up and grow a pair' are often used even to fairly young boys. I well remember such comments when I was growing up and through the years since.
But in this day and age can it really be such a terrible thing for a man to cry? I am lucky, in that I have accepted my feminine side which allows me to be honest with my emotions. Suppressing and trying to ignore strong emotions is not a good thing and can lead to all sorts of mental health problems.
So what would I say to anyone reading this? If the emotion is strong and the feeling is that you want or need to cry is there, let it all out and cry your eyes out, the emotional release will make you feel a lot better.
Macho men (or women for that matter) often think that are stronger, tougher than a person that crys. But they are not as strong as they think, they may poke fun at you when you are crying, but being able to express your feelings and be able to release those emotions is a wonderful thing, holding it all in is not.
Have a good cry, it's the right thing to do.................