Stephanie's bra fitting

Photo courtesy Emma at Nylon Nostalgia

This time we are going to hear from Stephanie about her bra fitting at Marks & Spencer's here in the UK

I will let Stephanie take the story from here: 

I have just returned home from my bra fitting at M&S and I have to say the whole experience was just lovely and definitely ranks (if I was scoring) as one of the most positive experiences I’ve had as a crossdresser, even though I attended in male mode!

My appointment was at 9:30am and I arrived at the store at 9:25 and after wandering through menswear (which now feels so alien even when I’m in drab!) I headed for the lingerie department and the fitting rooms. When I arrived there wasn’t anyone around at first though I could hear voices in the background then after a very short wait a member of staff appeared, saw me waiting and came over, and asked if she could help me?  I had told myself before I arrived to relax and try to be as “normal” as possible, so I came straight out and said that I was a Crossdresser and I was there for a bra fitting at 9:30 and gave her my name. She gave me such a lovely big welcoming smile and went off to check the diary, when she returned she asked me a couple of questions such as what did I want from the fitting? and was I, or had I had breast augmentation surgery?  She explained that she needed to check which dressing room was best to do the fitting because I was in Paul mode!  Anyway she decided, as it was quite quiet, if it was OK with me that we were to use the disabled both in the ladies fitting area.

Once in she asked what my femme name was and would it be OK if she could call me Stephanie whilst we were doing the fitting which of course I said yes to, I also mentioned that I could show her a photo of Stephanie later? which she said she would definitely like to see. We then had a chat about my bra size and the type of bra that I currently wore. I then told her that I had brought a bra and my forms “just in case” which she was really pleased to hear.

Next was the measuring, I took off my tee-shirt and she measured my chest to check the band size which she confirmed was 40” Yay! At least I had that bit right then she had me put on my bra and pop in my forms which she sweetly referred to as my “ladies”  she checked the fit and made an adjustment to the back butting it in the middle position and then adjusted the straps which she explained was to stop the gaping at the shoulder, when she was happy with the fit she actually congratulated me on having the correct size Bra she then noted that the bra was a full cup style and suggested that a better fit would be a plunge style bra as it’s better suited to the male form and therefore is a much better fit.  She then popped out in search of a suitable 40B plunge bra for me to try, she returned shortly with a pretty lilac padded lace plunge bra which I gladly put on, she again adjusted the straps and when she was happy explained the difference between the two styles whilst having me raise and lower my arms to show me how the bra shouldn’t move etc. I have to say it fitted me perfectly and was very comfortable, She then suggested I put my Tee-shirt back on to see how it looked and it looked really good, she also mentioned that she felt that a B cup was a perfect fit for my frame which I agreed with as I wouldn’t want to go any bigger.

That was the end of the fitting (but there was more to come), I met her in the lingerie department and we had a chat about crossdressing in general, I also asked her about using the ladies changing rooms if I was dressed, she said there was absolutely no problem in doing so but I should mention that I’m a Crossdresser just so they know! which obviously seems fair to me.  She then asked if she could see a photo of Stephanie so I showed her a photo of me, the one of me in my casual outfit of jeans, green top and trainers, after she gave a wow! She said “I’m sure I’ve seen you in here before?” And I said I had been in the store a week ago so it was likely. 

She then mentioned that they have a Trans woman working in the store and that she wanted to introduce me to her which was very sweet of her, so after saying goodbye to the other lovely ladies working in the lingerie department off we went in search of this lovely woman we found her quite quickly (ironically she works in menswear) and we were introduced. She was lovely and very keen to chat, after a few minutes we exchanged phone numbers and she has suggested we meet up one day for a drink and a chat which sounds lovely.

So that’s pretty much the end of my experience at M&S this morning. Now I hear you asking about what lovely bras did I buy whilst I was there.  to which I have to say I didn’t buy any BUT, there is a reason why,  they had asked If I could visit her and the team (they are all lovely) as Stephanie 😊 so I’ve promised her that I will return as Stephanie next week to say hi and shop for a few NEW (plunge) bra’s.

Wow! Today certainly exceeded all my expectations.  🥰

Roll on next week 😊

When I returned home I was so taken by the whole experience, As i wanted to compliment both the staff and the company I decided to go to the top and write a letter to Stuart Machin the Marks and Spencer CEO. I received a fabulous reply form Amy Collings, part of the Executive Team which I found very reassuring and welcoming not only for me but all members of the trans community.

Stephanie at home

Part 2 (the following week)

This is a continuation of my Bra Fitting experience at Marks and Spencer last week. Today I returned specifically to thank the lovely lady who did my bra fitting, for her kind, compassionate and understanding manner throughout my fitting. I also wanted to introduce her to Stephanie.

So, my trip back to M&S was brilliant!  Before I went in search of this lovely lady I stopped of at a nearby florist (M&S🙄) to buy her some thank you flowers.  Then off I went to the lingerie department where I found her just finishing with a customer. I have to say, her face lit up like a preverbal Christmas tree when she saw me, which was really lovely. The first thing she said was to thank me for the fabulous email I had sent to the Head Office. She was told of it early Monday and then received a copy of my original email along with a letter of commendation and the company and the Camberley store have been singing her praises ever since then, she did mention that she cried when she read my email and has also heard that a colleague in HQ (Helen) who dealt with my email was also moved to tears.

Whilst she was finishing up with her customer I had a lovely chat with her supervisor she was saying that my email had caused quite a stir in the branch and it’s been topic of the week so far, and also mentioned that the head of Diversity and Inclusion had emailed her today thanking her and her team and asking more about the assistant that carried out the fitting and how she had dealt with me etc. 

So the email that I threw into the M&S pond on Friday has generated some quite sizeable ripples and all for the right reasons, Marks and Spencer (Camberley) are doing really well regards Diversity and Inclusion but appear to want to mirror this company wide.

I take my wig off to good old M&S.

Even though I still didn’t buy any new bras, M & S are definitely barking up the right tree when it comes to working with trans customers and what’s more encouraging, is that they want to improve on this further.  

Another lovely thing is that the girls in the Lingerie department are hoping to start is a sort of Trans wall of fame by the fitting room by having photos of Trans ladies that have been in for a bra fitting, they is is very serious about this and wants the Camberley store to lead the way........

Thank you so much Stephanie for sharing your story, I am sure it will encourage many to be more open and relaxed in situations like this. I would also like to say a thank you to M&S for having such a wonderful supportive attitude.