The Dress


 

I have always had a thing about wedding dresses, I suppose that could be common for lots of people, both male and female, because they are in general the most spectacular dress a woman will ever wear, and of course on that special day only the best will do. I think my interest was aroused when my eldest sister got married, over fifty years ago now, as a young boy with more than a passing interest in all things feminine the wedding and bridesmaids dresses held a fascination for me. Obviously I never had a clue as to why an outwardly run of the mill boy would have such an interest, I never discovered the reason for that for decades. But the interest was there, I never saw the dresses before the wedding, so it was something special for me on the (very cold) day.  I had to go in a boring suit and tie, my Mum even had to bribe me to wear it! 

I did try my sisters dress, long after the wedding, which was a lovely experience, nobody knew of course and I had no idea at the time why I had this urge, but then the opportunity was lost and I never wore another wedding dress, until now.

For the whole of my life I have had this interest bubbling away at the back of my mind. I had often looked at wedding dresses on eBay but never took the plunge, after all where would I wear it? Even on one of our girly nights out, it would hardly be appropriate evening wear.  I have talked about these dresses to a number of other crossdressers but most seem to have no more than a passing interest and apart form one who is much more enthusiastic, none seem to have any real interest at all. When I mentioned it to a female friend, she was positively dismissive, perhaps her wedding day experience was not all the fairy tale experience she was hoping for?

Last December, in yet another lockdown here in the UK I was scanning through eBay not looking for anything in particular but after a number of lockdowns, and other restrictions, I was just looking to see what goodies I could find. I looked at wedding dresses, there were, as usual, lots on offer, but most were in three figures, which as it was definitely not a must have, was far too expensive for me. Then I stumbled across a seller advertising ex shop samples, all were new, but had obviously been tried on countless times by perspective brides and may have had the odd very minor blemish. The prices were more affordable, about £90 I think, but I judged still too much with something that was after all just a whim. Then as I went back for another look a few days later the price started to drop, it was in the end reduced several times until it came down to £59.99 which for a £425 dress was obviously cheap, then the seller added an offer, buy this dress for the price advertised and buy another for only £19.99, so in effect two dresses for £40 each. Now they were talking my language! As there was not another wedding dress in the style that I liked in my size I opted for a long pink strapless number and duly placed the order. The items arrived, but as time was strictly limited I only had time for a quick try on and then put them in the cupboard. 

Earlier this year the subject of wedding dresses came up when talking to another lady friend, although she said that her wedding dress was a mistake, which only became apparent on the day, she could understand my desire to wear a wedding dress. I admitted I had purchased one, but felt a bit ashamed, partly because of the cost, but also as I was somewhat embarrassed about my desire. However she understood completely why I should want to wear a dress of this type, and put it very succinctly, 'every little girl dreams about wearing a beautiful wedding dress, why shouldn't you?' That was the thing I never got, the connection I had been searching for, she saw me as that little girl who wanted to wear a beautiful dress, I had never seen that in myself until that point. Then all of a sudden it made complete sense to me. If I had been given the chance to go to the wedding as a bridesmaid, I would have jumped at it. That was not to be of course, young boys didn't do that back then, but I have dreamed of just that possibility ever since. 

A few days ago the opportunity finally came about, and I took the plunge and tried the dress properly for the first time. corset style dresses are not easy to put on correctly by your self, but after somewhat of a struggle I managed it. OK, it need some adjustments and tweaking , nothing much, but those final details to make it just right. I have to think about my hair and if I could style it more appropriately for a wedding, and I need to do my nails.......


Once on I felt a tingle go down my spine, a sense of happiness, comfort and wellbeing and emotion. Yes emotion, quite a lot of emotion, in fact, the whole experience was almost overpowering, but very uplifting. I had finally managed to wear a wedding dress after over forty years, something I will never forget. I will repeat the experience as soon as I can, but that is unlikely to be very soon as life is likely to get in the way. But when I do, I will rectify the adjustments and tweaks, and do something with my hair to get it just right....................



Comments

  1. Andrea you look beautiful. I understand how important that dress is to you.
    Wear it often and with great joy.
    Geraldine

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    1. Thank you so much Geraldine, it is very important an I shall follow your advice and "wear it often and with great joy"..................

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  2. "...dreams about wearing a beautiful wedding dress, why shouldn't you?"

    I think that's a lovely way to put it. Why not indeed?

    Sometimes I wonder if those thoughts and feelings we have towards certain experiences, they... well, get a little twisted around because of our trans nature: even though the idea is coming from a place of innocence.

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    1. I absolutely agree Lynn these thoughts we have (had) in all innocence do often get twisted and it sometimes makes it difficult to understand the real feeling behind them. I just wanted to wear a beautiful dress, but society (particularly in my younger years) deemed that was not possible for no other reason than it was not considered a masculine thing to do. Anyway I have managed it at last and feel very happy as a result...............

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  3. That's a really good article Andrea. First and foremost, what a beautiful dress and a lovely set of pictures. You should be very pleased with them. Secondly, you tackle the 'why do we do it' question, to which there is no easy answer. And there doesn't have to be. Why do people want to spend thousands on a set of sticks for thwacking golf balls around a field or an over-priced watch that doesn't keep time as well as a £10 Casio? Next to those a £40 dress that brings you so much joy looks like a bargain.

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    1. Thank you sandy, yes you have a valid point, a golfer might consider spending a vast mount of money on 'sticks to thwack a ball around' a good investment, others would see it as a waste of money, the point is what ever the item is, if it brings you joy without causing problems to anybody else then there should be no regret. Once my friend had pointed out that I was no different form any other (little girl) of my age then it all fell into place. It became much more emotional when I put the dress on for this session, I didn't have tears in my eyes, but it was a very close run thing..................

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  4. Lovely post Andrea. Yes, it does feel awkward and a bit shaming to admit that quite a lot of have had the feeling at a wedding that we'd much rather be there wearing a wedding dress or bridesmaids dress than a suit and tie. And if you can finally make that come true, even if it's just at home, why not? I've never taken the plunge, but that's because I can't think of any way I could smuggle one into the house and store it without some very awkward questions about just what it's doing in the closet. Enjoy it.

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    1. Thank you Susie, as you say why not indeed, I would prefer to wear the dress for it's real intended purpose, which seems extremely unlikely, it is lovely to wear even just at home. There may be a chance I will wear it at an event later in the year, but nothing is definite yet. If it happens you will be able to read about it here. Keeping a wedding dress at home is very difficult, which is a small part of the reason I never bought one before, but something being difficult is not a reason to avoid doing it, as they say where there is a will there is a way, but only you can make that call. One thing I can guarantee though, is you would love the experience...............................

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  5. Amazing post, sorry I have come to it so late. But, yes, why shouldn't you fantasise about wearing a wedding dress? If it's any consolation, I can relate. Reading your post reminded me about how I have viewed bridesmaids through the years and how much I (still now) didn't like wearing suits to a wedding.

    Basically, and bringing this back to the intended subject, your post made me pleased for you and for your lady friend who put things so succinctly. That was quite the insight she had and it's great to see the effect that it clearly had on you and your acceptance of yourself. Looking at the pictures I hope you agree that you have nothing about which to be embarrassed.

    I look forward to reading further adventures of you and the dress!

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    1. Thank you so much Joanna, it's funny how , what on the face of it is an off the cuff simple remark can really hit home and have such a profound effect. I'm glad you liked the post, and no doubt there will be further instalments on "The Dress"..................

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  6. What a wonderful post. I love it. We have all wondered/dreamed what it would be like to wear such a beautiful dress. I know I have. So when my anniversary came up I made the decision that it was going to happen. Yes, I spent to much on a simply beautiful gown, yes it took a lot of long conversations and planning but in the end it did happen. It was a most glorious day. I got what I wanted. It was My Day. She had to do what I said. Then it was off to a second Honeymoon to a place of her choice which finally convinced her to go along with this whole idea. I got to be the blushing bride and wore nothing but the most beautiful feminine bridal attire for a whole week. And yes my most beautiful wedding dress now hanges in my closet waiting for another opportunity to be worn. My dream was finally a reality.

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    1. Thank you so much for your very interesting comment, I am pleased you managed to get 'your day' in the end. Such a story would make a good post soon here let me know if you are interested.............

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