The Curse Of The Crossdresser
Do you think crossdressing is a curse? Thats a question I have answered in different ways during my life, but is it really a curse?
When I started crossdressing as a young boy I was just enjoying myself, I had no idea what I was doing or indeed why. Apart from the risk of getting caught, there was very little that I had concerns about. But as I grew older the crossdressing started to become a problem, no matter how hard I tried, it would just not go away. Then for various reasons I didn't crossdress for about twenty years, I had left that part of my life behind, crossdressing was just one of those things I did a youngster, just one of those thing you do as you grow up.
Then it came back, stronger than ever, at first I enjoyed the thrill of it all again, but this was not right, this is not something a man of my age should be doing. I tried to convince myself I was just being stupid and should grow up! This is when it became a curse, the urge would come, I would give in and then feel guilty and annoyed with myself for giving in to this curse. I purged a couple of times, determined to rid myself of this terrible urge. At this point it really was a curse, why had I been saddled with this dreadful habit? What had I done to deserve this? Life was particularly tough and stressful at the time, so on top of dealing with personal, work and family problems I had to put up with these urges. Urges that were so strong at times it was difficult to concentrate.
It seemed that the harder I tried to resist these inner urges, the stronger they became, I fought it again and again and they just grew stronger. Over the years that this continued, I would battle it, convince myself I had finally won the battle only to discover it wouldn't give up that easily. As you can imagine this was a hard time for me, I had no support, in fairness I wasn't looking for any, I thought I would win the battle against this terrible curse.Then I started to research just why men crossdress and it was just as if someone had turned the light on, all of a sudden it all started to make sense. That was the beginning of my acceptance, something that went on for several years. But eventually once I had accepted that crossdressing is part of who I am, I realised that far from being a curse, crossdressing was a valuable asset.