An Interview With Cymbie Browne

For this third interview I am very pleased to introduce Cimbie Browne from the South East of the UK

1.How do you describe yourself, (crossdresser, transvestite, trans gender) ?

Aspirationally I consider myself to be a transwoman, since childhood I have never accepted my birth gender. I do find it difficult to attach a label to myself on the other hand and think I’m just me. 

2. How long have you been crossdressing?

Like most of us, I started at a very young age, the whole thing, clothing, makeup lingerie of my mother’s held a fascination for me from an early age. I came across a lipstick of my mothers when I was around seven or eight and I was compelled to try it on. It felt and tasted lovely wearing it. This ecstasy was tempered with a feeling of guilt that burdened me for so many years. I really thought I had a mental condition and regularly set myself targets of stopping by certain milestones in my life. In those early days there was no source of reference and I was unable to think of any alternative explanations. Full dressing didn’t happen until much later when I had the opportunity to dress whilst away with work on a regular basis. For many years I would dress in my hotel room in the isolation of my room, too scared to venture beyond although aching to do so. Abut five years ago, I finally ventured out both whilst staying away and sometimes I would find a few hours in the daytime to venture out to go shopping, coffee at Costa etc. I have a friend (a genetic girl) and we sometimes meet for coffee, chat or shopping – it seems so natural to be two women out and about. 

3. Acceptance was for me, the turning point, once I had accepted who I was my life changed. What about you? When did acceptance come to you, how did it change your life and outlook regarding crossdressing?

I think the realisation that this was not an illness and would remain with me for the remainder of my life. The futility of failing to stop by milestones in my life as explained earlier. These coincided with purges linked to guilt just made me more miserable. My wife was aware of my dressing and briefly supported me but has since changed her views completely. I’m going through a time of very limited opportunity to be me due to circumstances, but I’m still me.

4. Have you ever considered transition? Would you consider it in the future?

I don’t think I would now, if I was in my twenties now and single, I think I would go down that route. I try and balance my life, my age and marriage put future transitions out of consideration.

5. You seem very confident when dressed, but how do you really feel?

I feel so much better in every aspect when dressed, I feel happier and more emotionally connected with myself and others. I just feel so good as a woman.

6. I know you get out and about, tell us where you like to go, what you like to do? (No specific locations)  

As I have mentioned before I use to travel with my work with hotel stays, I used to love being me for the whole evening. I would get dressed and made up for the evening and go down to the restaurant for dinner. I loved the moment when my lipstick touched the nice cold Chardonnay! When my confidence grew, I would travel and arrive at the hotel dressed just changing for dinner. I loved driving as me, and calling in at the services for coffee etc. I would enjoy calling in the loo on the way back to brush my hair and fix my lipstick. Ordinary things like fuelling the car with my handbag over my shoulder and getting my card out of my purse with nails was both a challenge and a glorious moment of femininity.

When I could manage a few hours out, I would love to out and about as a woman. It’s so lovely being able to spend your time relaxed looking at and buying makeup for example which as many know is a very daunting experience whilst in drab. Shopping as a woman is so different on many levels, I find myself feeling the fabric of a dress and how it feels is quite often the criteria for purchase, you can often envisage how it will make you feel to wear it. Shop assistants in Marks and Spencer will address you as Madam which is lovely and will go to get other sizes for you etc. Even at the other end of the shopping spectrum, Matalan the staff are just as accepting and helpful.

I have stayed at Scarlets a couple of times at Blackpool who used to cater for girls and would accompany you to local T-Girl venues nearby. This was wonderful in the early days, but I do prefer none scene dressing. Sadly, Scarlets is no longer ran by Jenny and Sarah and is not the same place as it used to be.

7. How do you feel when you've been out?

I feel so empowered as Cymbie, not that I lack any confidence as the male me, Women, as it’s been frequently said are wired completely differently and it’s so liberating to experience and emulate. It also gives me a great sense of calm and wellbeing to be the real me.

8. Do you have a favourite outfit? Describe it and explain why you like it so much.

I don’t have an outright favourite, I have quite a varied wardrobe ranging from jeggings with a lovely Jules blazer to dresses with heels, I do wear leather look skinnies with boots in the winter. I suppose my favourite item is my Joules blazer as its so versatile.

9. Us girls love heels; do you have a favourite pair? 

Not really, but I do tend to wear a pair of mid heels, pointy courts in navy. I also have the same in a leopard skin and quite a few boots.

10. What are your thoughts on 'Passing'?

I think for me it’s all about acceptance rather than passing. I’ve had such lovely complements I find that is enough for me. 

11. Have you ever 'Purged' if so how did you feel after?

Many times, in the past but not since I have accepted me.

12. Would you like to live full time as a woman?

I would love to and I must admit it consumes a lot of conscious thought, however, because of my age and situation it’s only a dream.

13. Can you ever stop?

It is difficult to envisage a situation where I could manage to stop, the thought of it is unbearable.

14. Have you or would you use a 'dressing/makeup' service? 

I haven’t to date mainly as I don’t feel I have the need to. There is also the financial consideration of hiding the expense.

15. Who knows about your crossdressing?

My wife does know, for a small period of time she supported me but now she is totally against it.

16. If you could have one wish, what would it be?

I am very happy with my life but purely as a wish, I would love to be single and in my twenties. The opportunities that exist for anyone who wishes to explore their femininity are beyond comparison to where I was at that age. I also get invited to many parties and events which I have to refuse, I would love to go to just a few.

17. Where do you see your life going from here?

I really can’t answer that one, I just wish my wife would support me in the smallest way, wanting to be me is not going away.

Cymbal x

Thank you very much Cymbie for taking the time and trouble to answer my questions.

The photo was kindly supplied by Cymbie Browne and remains her copyright