Loneliness

We live in a strange world where loneliness is a major problem even though many who suffer from it are in fact far from alone. In the UK it has been recognised that many farm workers now suffer from this as a result of working long hours with out any human contact, there are many other industries where this is also the case. But it is also something that has affected me, and I suspect many crossdressers.

Crossdressing to those who are still very much in the closet is, by it's very nature, a solitary occupation and as such it is very easy to feel lonely if you are having long periods of dressing time on your own. I certainly felt this at times, once the euphoria had subsided and you are sitting in your favourite dress all made up with you best heels on, it is all too easy to feel very much alone. You can almost become a prisoner in your own house, you want to break free, but with the various constraints imposed because of the personal circumstances you are unable to do so. I have found it tends to happen when there is a lull in proceedings when I have time to sit a just enjoy being me for a short while. For no apparent reason I get that sinking feeling in my stomach, my whole body seems to start to drain away, in the quietness of the room I am alone in this world......

The strange thing is being alone, in itself does not make you feel lonely, as I have said elsewhere I have been a bit of a loner for years, but I am quite happy being on my own doing what ever I am doing, often I prefer to work alone at my own pace and to my own standard. In these times I do not feel lonely, in fact quite the opposite. But crossdressing is a strange occupation and many girls who have never stepped outside of the closet are at risk of feeling very much alone. Part of the problem, it seems to me, is that because crossdressing for many is a solitary activity and the fact that it is often frowned upon, can make you feel guilty, and it is often guilt that can be the catalyst that brings on loneliness. 

Loneliness is not dependant on how many relationships you may have but more on the quality of those relationships and whether you feel an emotional or social connection with those around you. As a solitary crossdresser, who for personal reasons can not tell the people he loves the most, about this most important of personal needs, there can be a complete disconnection between crossdressing and social relationship. 

So how did I get over the loneness issue, well to start with the feeling of being somehow guilty of doing something terrible each time I crossdressed evaporated when I came to terms with crossdressing. When I accepted this is part of me, not just the act of crossdressing but also where I was on the transgender spectrum, my life seemed clearer and it has to be said much happier. Although I am not able to talk to my family (apart from my partner) about my crossdressing I have found a number of fabulous friends within the crossdressing community who have been very supportive and so I no longer feel I am alone in this world. 

Loneliness is a serious issue, if you find yourself feeling lonely, you really do need to do something about it. As loneliness is linked to low self esteem, one way to help combat this for a closeted crossdresser, is to talk to someone about your crossdressing. If you can't do this in person join an on line forum (making sure it is the type of place that provides support) and chat on line to someone, you would be surprised how much this can help, finally being able to tell someone else about your crossdressing is hugely satisfying. If that is not possible and you really feel lonely talk to your doctor or local health centre.